It’s one thing to see your friends do it but quite another to live it yourself.
Recently, one Reddit user submitted a question to the platform, asking moms and dads to share the funniest things child-free people have told them about their idea of parenting. And they delivered.
From calling maternity leave “a vacation” to the classic “just sleep when the baby sleeps”, here are some of the phrases that let parents know you have no clue what they’re going through.
#1
When I was pregnant, I couldn’t sleep well because every position was uncomfortable. Well, my friend said, ‘You probably can’t wait to give birth so you can catch up on some sleep!’
#2
I was getting a passport for my 3-week-old daughter, and the worker said I needed to sit her up on her own, then when I told him she couldn’t, he stormed off to get a manager.\
“She was completely shocked since she wasn’t even thinking about it that way. She enjoyed working from home and was able to organize her time well, while using this whole lockdown thing to catch up on all the books she never had time to read. Then I was shocked,” they added, jokingly. “It just became clear to me how our conceptions differ depending on our life choices, and I instantly remembered unsolicited pieces of advice about parenting (not from this friend), as well as some benevolent comments which clearly show how parenting really isn’t one of those things you can have a preview of.”
#3
This one was from my ex who I should have know would be a terrible parent.In the hospital, I just had a baby and was struggling to breast feed. I went to the washroom and when I came out my ex was feeding my newborn applesauce. FREAKING APPLESAUCE. She was only hours old and 4 weeks premature.
Also he told me that I needed to wait for my 5 month old to calm down and self sooth before I fed her her bottle because when a baby cries when they are hungry that’s how they manipulate the parents.
God I hate him.
Naturally, the author of the post also had misconceptions about parenting when they were child-free. At least for the newborn stage. “I didn’t know babies needed to learn basically everything. Like, I thought breastfeeding comes to them naturally, meaning it’s not challenging for a mom at all. Then I had my daughter who literally needed to learn how to suckle.”
“When I first heard about babies ‘rolling onto their tummies’, I didn’t know that was something they needed to learn. Of course, I know they won’t be able to sit, crawl, etc., but I never thought that turning your body is something that’s acquired. There were many misconceptions,” they explained. “I learned they weren’t the case at all by having my baby.”
#4
The Reddit user wasn’t expecting that the post would get so much attention. “I didn’t have the time to read all of the replies but I had more than a few good laughs and I also learned that us parents need to be there for each other. It’s hard for others to understand [what we’re going through], so judging each other is really counter-productive. Also, even though I’ve started my post by stating that it shouldn’t be about how child-free people were rude (just clueless), I have received a couple of really ill-meaning comments where parents saw judgment regardless of the fact that there probably wasn’t any.”
I guess the bottom line is that people who had huge misconceptions about parenting expanded their horizons. And gave the Internet a good laugh. That’s a win-win in my book.
#5
I was working from home with a 6-month-old, and it was hard trying to have conference calls and entertain her at the same time. Well, my husband said, ‘Don’t worry — it’ll get easier when she’s around 12 months old, when you can just sit her down for an hour or two with a coloring book.’
When we were working on our baby registry, my husband couldn’t understand the need for a stroller, saying, ‘I’ll just carry the babies.’ What makes it even funnier is that we were having twins!
#6
When I went on maternity leave with my third kid, my boss said, ‘Enjoy your vacation.’
#7
Once, my child-free friend asked me if my 18-month-old would sleep in the next morning because it was Saturday. I laughed so hard!
Recently, we were visiting our friends — who are child-free by choice — and they really love my kid. When they heard my kid was into puzzles, they brought her a 1,000-piece one! She’s 3 years old.
#9
When I was pregnant, one day I realized my baby hadn’t moved as much as usual, so I told my friend I might need to go get checked. She replied, ‘Can’t you just tell the baby to move with your mind?’
#10
I foolishly thought I’d have all this free time during maternity leave, and I actually suggested to my husband that it would be the perfect time for us to get a puppy because I’d have time to train it!